I watched Princess and the frog for the first time the other day, yes I know I’m about two years late. Wrapped in my comforter with butter pecan ice cream in hand I watched a young girls fairytale come true. I giggled when Tiana proclaimed her reluctance to kissing frogs because I too feel the same. In a world that seems to be filled with frogs, I sometimes get discouraged about my idea of a fairytale. I wonder why can’t my prince just be visible not disguised as a frog? I mean, who really wants to kiss a frog covered with slime, excuse me, I mean mucous. I then remind myself, you’re only 22! Your time will come.
It gets frustrating I must admit, I just don’t think I can take another frog trying to snatch me up with his gooey tongue, yuck, and I don’t want to kiss a lot of them in order to find my prince. Tianas friend Charlotte thought differently, “I would kiss one hundred frogs to find my prince!”. I thought of how exhausting that would be in reality. I don’t want to waste time and energy on those that aren’t worth it. Frogs don’t deserve any of me but my prince deserves all of me. I always say I don’t want or need every guy to like me; I don’t even need ten or five to like me. I only want and need one to love me. That’s all, just one.
When I see couples happily in love, I admire, but I never want a replica. I want an original, one of a kind, a never seen before version. I was asked by a friend if I had written “The list”, I haven’t. I did attempt, but gave up. I feel I will know when it happens. I don’t feel the need to have a list to remind me because when he arrives I believe my heart will remind me.
What I have done mentally is take qualities I possess and add what I would like for him to possess. For instance, I’m shy at times, so I want someone who can bring me out of my shell. I’ve once felt like I wasn’t enough because of a guy, so I want him to not only tell me but show me that he loves me. I want to feel like I’m all he needs and then some. I have a wall up out of fear, I want him to help me let down my guard. I’m not a confrontational person, so I want him to know how to talk through issues and come to a mutual understanding. I can be a homebody at times; I want him to be adventurous. I’m goofy with a hint of corny so I want him to have a sense of humor so that we can laugh and laugh and laugh uncontrollably together. I guess that's somewhat of a list.
If I’m sure of anything it’s the fact that I now know that i am enough, from the top of my fro to bottom of my heels. I deserve ALL of life’s joys and I definitely deserve the ultimate joy, love. Not an ordinary love something extraordinary. A fairytale on steroids! I know, a bit much but I think we all deserve that kind of love. Our very own fairytale, with our own definition of what it means and how it feels.
While I chase after my dreams, I hope my prince won’t be far behind chasing after me. No more frogs. Not a green frog, sea frog, land frog or tree frog. I simply just. Cant. Take it.