The Natural Dating Game

 (Pic from last summer)

“They act like they’ve never seen a black girl with natural hair before.”

That was the reaction my cousin had after seeing different guys reaction to me. It was our first time bar hopping together so what she took by surprise, I was very use to. I was now immune to the looks and urges they had to touch my hair, well maybe not the hair touching, that's still annoying. That incident inspired me to write about my experience when it comes to men and natural hair.

Last summer I freshly entered the bar scene after I turned twenty one. I also entered the summer with a new “do”. I had just cut my hair in May and was rocking a mini fro. I instantly noticed a drastic change in the type of men I attracted. That change was apparent when a brown eyed brunette guy approached me one night at a get together.

“Your hair is really cool.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle and of course thank him. I have always gotten looks from men of other races but never approached. Being the girl that use to have Justin Timberlake and Leonardo Dicaprio plastered all over my wall, trust me I wasn’t bothered in any way with other races new found interest in me. That guy was just the beginning.

Since being natural I’ve mainly been hit on by white men. Black men, not so much. Before I go any further I go to school in a small town, so this is my experience of being natural and dating in the corn fields. I’m sure if I stayed in the city I grew up in, Chicago; it would be different, maybe. Majority of the reactions I have gotten from black men here have been negative. I was once even told that I needed a perm. I’ll admit it confuses me and it stings a bit. One would think they would be more open to embracing my hair than any other race. Simply because this is what their mothers, sisters, aunts and cousins would look like if they chose to stop perming their hair.

Maybe it’s because of issues within our race or maybe if my hair texture was finer, thinner, they would embrace it more. Those kinds of things run through my head a lot. To give them credit I was recently approached by a black guy. Shocked wouldn’t do justice to how I felt. My hair didn’t come up which is essentially a good thing. But he ended up being really weird, so yeah, that didn’t work out. I do remember a conversation via twitter I had with Joshua of street etiquette awhile ago. He said he loved seeing a woman with natural hair and red lips. He put a big smile on my face that day.

Whether the guy is white, black, yellow or orange I always live by if you don’t want me, I don’t want you. If a man lets my hair stop him from getting to know the woman underneath it, then that’s not the guy for me. To even the playing field I do have doubts when it comes to the white men that approach me. Are they really into me or is it for the thrill of being with a black girl, with a fro? The fact that I’m still single should answer that. It will be interesting to see where my love life goes as my fro grows.