March 3, 2010

DEAR DIARY.........

I was shocked to see it out in to the open, not hidden away. I quickly grabbed it and held it close to my chest. I wondered if anyone looked inside, that wouldn’t be good. Making sure I stuffed it deep inside my bag, I hoped no one would ask what it was. My box of secrets held many of my scripts, poems, songs and pre-teen rants. On the ride back to school I thought, wow that is where it started. That box holds the beginning of my love for writing.

I finally opened it, after trying to avoid it didn’t work. My first diary was on top. On those pages I pro-claimed my love for N’Sync and Lil Bow wow, listing why I thought I would make a good girlfriend for him. The only fault I listed was that I would be taller than the pint sized rapper. My next diary was from my junior high and high school years. To sum up the pages of that diary, I vowed that when I turned sixteen I would date who ever I wanted regardless of my dad’s opinion of them.

My eyes widened when I read through my poetry book. I thought how the heck was I able to write about love, when at that age I definitely didn’t know anything about it. “I feel this tremble in my heart when your around,” read the first line of a poem my twelve year old self wrote, titled love again. After there were no more pages to turn, I thought where has it gone. My creativity that is, was it trapped inside this box along with my diaries. If so, I hope that opening it after all these years will spark my love for writing up again. This time the pages will be filled with drunken college nights, how I’m still clueless about love, and how those guys my dad didn’t want me to date turned out to be jerks after all.

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